Jim Norton - Happy Endings

It's not often I read books. It has to be a topic that really interests me and even then I may not read the whole thing. I've been meaning to pick up Jim Norton's books for awhile, since I really used to enjoy the Opie and Anthony show when it was on 92.3. It was a daily part of my work commute, even though I only work about 8 minutes away.

 

The book is funny right from the beginning. The forewords were done by Colin Quinn. I say forewords because there's two of them. I don't know if they set this up intentionally, but it was funny. The first foreword was done without him ever reading the book, the second was after he read the book.

I found a bunch of the chapters funny, but some of it seemed made up for the sake of comedy. Sometimes it's hard to tell if some of the stuff is made up, but they still make me laugh. After the first few chapters the prostitute and oral treat stories got a little stale, but intertwined between was good reading.

While I am still a big fan of Jimmy's comedy, I think he creeps me out just a bit more after reading this and I'm not so sure I'd want to shake his hand if we ever met.

I'm proud of myself for reading the whole book and will be starting on his other book soon.

On a side note, I drove with my Girlfriend to Pennsylvania today to purchase a bedroom set. On the way back I was telling her a story about the Opie & Anthony show where they were talking about boogers one day. I believe Bob Kelly used to roll his boogers up into little balls, then put them on the spot over his lips, under his noses. He'd roll them for hours into perfect little balls. He'd put them away to save for later when he gto home from school.

So, I kept telling my Girlfriend to look at me. I was showing her where he would put them and  had to pull over on the side of the road. She puked on the side of the car!

This Is Why You're Fat

[Cobra Commander] posted pictures online of how to make a Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger. I decided to make a miniature version of this with ingredients from the dollar store. I left off the bacon. I had some hamburger patties I cooked, and sandwiched them between two Red Baron single serving deep dish pizzas from the dollar store. I also added some Jalapeno cheese sauce.

[CebusCapucinis] tipped me off to the website This Is Why You're Fat which has pictures of other fattening foods and a book for sale. I thought some of the ideas were freakin genius, while others were just a fat mess. Pun intended.

At Thanksgiving, I asked my family if they think it's a good idea to get it for my Mom for Christmas. Would she think I'm calling her fat or would she see it in the same humerous way I do? Everyone agreed I shouldn't get it and that they wouldn't want their child getting it for them either. I think they're all wrong and bought it:

 

I bought the book. The front cover has a picture of a bacon cheeseburger using two Krispy Kreme donuts as buns. I think that picture was perfect for the cover because they gave it a raised texture, which kind of feels like a glazed donut. The book contains over 130 colorful pages. Lots of pictures and lots of recipes. The book is put together very well. Good thickness to the pages with vivid colors. I think it was worth the $9.99 price.

The only negative things I have to say is that some of the food is a great idea and inventive, but some of them just seem to be thrown together for the book. The Happy Meal Pizza is just a mismatched mess. It could have been presented better.

The Corndog Pizza is an interesting idea, but shouldn't you have removed the sticks from the corndogs before serving them to your guests?

The Cornhole is a terrible idea. It's corn on the cob wrapped in hickory smoked bacon, two hotdogs, two cheese sticks, and ground beef. So if someone takes a big bite, they're going to get a mouthful of cob? Eew!

The book is broken down into a few sections: Breakfast of Champions, Bacon Gone Wild, Souped-up Sandwiches, and Big-time Burgers. I already mentioned a few above, but here's a sampling of what you will also see in the book: Grilled Cheesecake (great play on a standard grilled cheese and looks great), Deep Fried Coke (saw this on television also and it sounds awesome), and of course the recipe that got me started on this all the Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Pizza Burger (it was very good).

Worst comes to worst if my Mom is offended by the title of the book I can say I got it for her because I see two or three things in there mentioning Hawaii. She lives there.